Last Sunday I went to Starbucks, as I do, to sit in the low hum of quiet conversations, the smell of coffee and subtle music. I looked over at my favorite sofa… Damn! not a seat free.
SO I just hung around the delivery section for my drink and literally smelling the coffee’s they have on display. Just as the barista called out my name, a couple got up from the sofa and my heart skipped a beat, Yes !!!! This may appear shallow and a very big city attitude, but you CANNOT underestimate the power of a good sofa or a good cup of coffee.
So I immediately ran over there to put down my stuff, even though no one new had entered the cafe who could have taken the seat. This proves I am now a Mumbaiker… The urge to run to catch the train is contagious and one that can’t be shaken off…even in Starbucks.
As I sat down, I glanced at the girl sitting next to me. A young girl, probably in her early 20’s. She sat with her legs crossed under her on the sofa, a notepad, a kindle and a cup of coffee in front of her, but she was on her mobile phone… but what struck me was the title on the page she had been writing on. In big bold letters: ’31 things I want to do before 31′.
Wow! I thought, to be in a similar position would be amazing. I mean..who in their 40’s would not want to be in their early 20’s writing a list with that title.
I definitely felt a little envious of the girl at that moment. To be in my 20’s again would be amazing. I mean the energy level and the lack of knee ache itself would be a big huge relief. But to know then, what I know now of people, relationships and friendships and myself would have been life-changing. And then to work on a list like that would be phenomenal.
Looking at this girl working on her list made me think about the importance of self-love. She was putting herself first and figuring out what she wants to do with a deadline in mind. I think that’s mighty mature of her.
I had a list too when I was 18.. probably had 5 or 6 points of them. Some were fantastical and some I have achieved. But this list that the girl was working on, I presume is a very detailed list. I like that.
Self-love, I’m discovering after all is not the same as being self-absorbed. Investing in me is not being selfish. This thought I need to internalise. It is crucial for me too as an individual to learn to let go of things and relationships that are not good for me to hold on to and don’t reciprocate back.
Maybe we are indoctrinated in our culture to think that we must put others before us. Our parents, our family and then our children before us. It is assumed you will do it.
So when will it be ‘me’, and why at this stage and age does this feel so very burdensome?
Am I wrong in feeling that ? or that when you put others before you all the time, you start to believe that you are less important. Your health, your mental peace, your likes, and loves and your needs all come after.
Or maybe taking care of others should come a close second to first and foremost taking care of myself.
The cup cannot pour out if it has nothing in it.
Self-love is going to be a tough challenge. But one that I know needs to be done.
So maybe what I need to do is start my list of ’41 things I want to do before 41’…